This never gets old for me...
I don't know why... haha
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Rawr.
Well... we all knew it was coming.
The time when I would run out of time to blog.
And though technically, I don't really have time to now, I felt like dropping in and saying... SOMETHING.
A lot of random things have been happening... An old high school acquaintance is attempting to overtake my class council president duties and plan a (second) 5 year reunion around me. Which sounds petty, so I won't go into it... but that sharp reminder of high school, along with the fact that there are 8 more months before I graduate from my master's program, [which means I'll most likely be leaving Ohio] has made me really stop and think (as most "endings" generally do) about my relationships with people.
It is daunting. To look back on all the different phases of your life. (I know, I know... my life has been soooo long).
But, really. I've always been pretty good at finding, no matter where I go, a small pod of people that I form good, trusting relationships with. Sure, sometimes we're not actually personality matches... sometimes it's because we are in the same place... but I've always found good people everywhere I've gone. And... really, at this point, I've gone a lot of places.
It's weird to evaluate who you've kept in touch with; who you haven't, but still feel close to; who you don't think you'll stay in contact with in the future; who you do think you'll stay in contact with; the people that you thought you'd never lose connection with, but you have.
And... yes. It is unrealistic to think that I was going to keep all 50 best friends from my life (Yes. I'm one of those people. I have more than one best friend. Get over it.), and we'd talk regularly, and see each other regularly, etc. There just isn't enough time and mental energy for that to happen.
But then... what is the glue? What is that thing that somehow has kept me bonded to some, but not to others?
What's worse is, at times like these... I find myself realizing the people I've fallen out of touch with, and I try to rekindle, to a certain extent, our friendship... or at least see how they're doing. Because, realistically, they will always have a place in my heart. I will still always care.
It is always sad when someone is non-receptive, or you know that attempting to contact that person would only be toxic.
It has also been raining for 3 days straight now. Which just makes this whole thing a little gloomier.
I am 95% sure that I will be moving to California. I feel like I need to write that down. Often. To remind myself of the reality of it. And to accustom myself to the thought to stop myself from wanting to panic and run in circles/ throw up (preferably not at once).
That will be the furthest long-term living (I feel like 6 weeks in the summer does not count) from my family, roots, and friends, that I will ever have undertaken. We will even be 3 hours away in TIME. What will happen to those relationships then? Will I just get caught up in the stress of my new location and forget to call/ text/ email/ send cards? How many more people will I let go?
Hrmph.
I know. I'm fixating. This is part of life. I will be fine. I will have others to fill the voids. But that doesn't mean I won't keep missing those holes in my heart.
Rawr.
Promise: Next time I'll write a happy/ funny blog. Remember when I used to write those?
This is kind of happy... I've lost 15 lbs since the last time I posted! YAY.
Happy belated birthday to my man.
Happy early birthday to my seester.
:)
They are now both two-dozen years old. Which I like to imagine/ measure in cupcakes.
I should stop now.
Miss y'all.
The time when I would run out of time to blog.
And though technically, I don't really have time to now, I felt like dropping in and saying... SOMETHING.
A lot of random things have been happening... An old high school acquaintance is attempting to overtake my class council president duties and plan a (second) 5 year reunion around me. Which sounds petty, so I won't go into it... but that sharp reminder of high school, along with the fact that there are 8 more months before I graduate from my master's program, [which means I'll most likely be leaving Ohio] has made me really stop and think (as most "endings" generally do) about my relationships with people.
It is daunting. To look back on all the different phases of your life. (I know, I know... my life has been soooo long).
But, really. I've always been pretty good at finding, no matter where I go, a small pod of people that I form good, trusting relationships with. Sure, sometimes we're not actually personality matches... sometimes it's because we are in the same place... but I've always found good people everywhere I've gone. And... really, at this point, I've gone a lot of places.
It's weird to evaluate who you've kept in touch with; who you haven't, but still feel close to; who you don't think you'll stay in contact with in the future; who you do think you'll stay in contact with; the people that you thought you'd never lose connection with, but you have.
And... yes. It is unrealistic to think that I was going to keep all 50 best friends from my life (Yes. I'm one of those people. I have more than one best friend. Get over it.), and we'd talk regularly, and see each other regularly, etc. There just isn't enough time and mental energy for that to happen.
But then... what is the glue? What is that thing that somehow has kept me bonded to some, but not to others?
What's worse is, at times like these... I find myself realizing the people I've fallen out of touch with, and I try to rekindle, to a certain extent, our friendship... or at least see how they're doing. Because, realistically, they will always have a place in my heart. I will still always care.
It is always sad when someone is non-receptive, or you know that attempting to contact that person would only be toxic.
It has also been raining for 3 days straight now. Which just makes this whole thing a little gloomier.
I am 95% sure that I will be moving to California. I feel like I need to write that down. Often. To remind myself of the reality of it. And to accustom myself to the thought to stop myself from wanting to panic and run in circles/ throw up (preferably not at once).
That will be the furthest long-term living (I feel like 6 weeks in the summer does not count) from my family, roots, and friends, that I will ever have undertaken. We will even be 3 hours away in TIME. What will happen to those relationships then? Will I just get caught up in the stress of my new location and forget to call/ text/ email/ send cards? How many more people will I let go?
Hrmph.
I know. I'm fixating. This is part of life. I will be fine. I will have others to fill the voids. But that doesn't mean I won't keep missing those holes in my heart.
Rawr.
Promise: Next time I'll write a happy/ funny blog. Remember when I used to write those?
This is kind of happy... I've lost 15 lbs since the last time I posted! YAY.
Happy belated birthday to my man.
Happy early birthday to my seester.
:)
They are now both two-dozen years old. Which I like to imagine/ measure in cupcakes.
I should stop now.
Miss y'all.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Dear Blog (and approximately 3 readers...)
I am sorry I have abandoned you.
I wish I could write something informative or insightful.
But I am tired.
So. Must know things for you.
1.) I have officially returned to Ohio.
2.) I'm in training.
3.) I got a trim and have officially decided to grow my hair long again.
4.) I am currently using WeightWatchers. It is an interesting journey that we can discuss at a later date.
5.) I am feeling very insecure about everything in my life
5a) I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm sure it'll be okay.
6.) Tyler Rogols is now at BG with me.
7.) I bought a VERY pretty green bra today. I don't feel this way about my bras often. I guess this might not have been a MUST know, per say... but I felt like sharing.
8.) I'm in the middle of the book One Day and am enjoying it immensely. I hope I actually finish it before my life dies.
8a) Upon re-reading this post, I realized how crazily dramatic that was. Tired = intense exaggeration?
9.) I am very seriously considering attempting to stage The Last Five Years with my friend Jeremy.
9a) Well... maybe not THAT serious. I'm afeared.
10.) I miss you all. Every single one of you. So much. :[
I wish I could write something informative or insightful.
But I am tired.
So. Must know things for you.
1.) I have officially returned to Ohio.
2.) I'm in training.
3.) I got a trim and have officially decided to grow my hair long again.
4.) I am currently using WeightWatchers. It is an interesting journey that we can discuss at a later date.
5.) I am feeling very insecure about everything in my life
5a) I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm sure it'll be okay.
6.) Tyler Rogols is now at BG with me.
7.) I bought a VERY pretty green bra today. I don't feel this way about my bras often. I guess this might not have been a MUST know, per say... but I felt like sharing.
8.) I'm in the middle of the book One Day and am enjoying it immensely. I hope I actually finish it before my life dies.
8a) Upon re-reading this post, I realized how crazily dramatic that was. Tired = intense exaggeration?
9.) I am very seriously considering attempting to stage The Last Five Years with my friend Jeremy.
9a) Well... maybe not THAT serious. I'm afeared.
10.) I miss you all. Every single one of you. So much. :[
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Summer-geddon 2011
As you can see, that last post is from one of my student Conference Assistants, who mistakenly logged onto my blog, instead of the summer "time card" blog. I thought he was kidding when he said he blogged in on my account and that he was very sorry.
... I see now that he was not. haha
My first thought was to delete it, but it (and he) are so endearing, I think I'll just leave it. Besides, it serves me right for looking at my personal gmail at work.
I have never really done well with good-byes. As in, I become highly emotional. Not so much in a... I'm going to collapse into tears... more that... approximately a week or two before departure, I feel everything at a heightened level. One word for this: Yikes.
I think because this has been such a fast, crazy summer, it's even more intense than usual. Commence Summer-geddon. Yes, you read correctly. That is the name for this week.
And, of course, none of this is helped by the fact that I seem to have a raging, continuous migraine that simply can't be tamed. I feel like I'm wearing a horcrux. (Neverending nerdy comments...) I feel unbalanced. I feel like there's... excess. Just... oozing out of my brain.
I am ready to not feel this way anymore.
...
But then that would mean it's over. Ay.
... I see now that he was not. haha
My first thought was to delete it, but it (and he) are so endearing, I think I'll just leave it. Besides, it serves me right for looking at my personal gmail at work.
I have never really done well with good-byes. As in, I become highly emotional. Not so much in a... I'm going to collapse into tears... more that... approximately a week or two before departure, I feel everything at a heightened level. One word for this: Yikes.
I think because this has been such a fast, crazy summer, it's even more intense than usual. Commence Summer-geddon. Yes, you read correctly. That is the name for this week.
 |
| Self-explanatory, no? |
And, of course, none of this is helped by the fact that I seem to have a raging, continuous migraine that simply can't be tamed. I feel like I'm wearing a horcrux. (Neverending nerdy comments...) I feel unbalanced. I feel like there's... excess. Just... oozing out of my brain.
I am ready to not feel this way anymore.
...
But then that would mean it's over. Ay.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The line...
First of all, I'd like to draw attention to the fact that I am on blogging-fire!
...
Don't get used to it. I fully expect this to end in approximately 3 weeks, when I return to my full-time Graduate Hall Director/ Student gig.
But while I'm sharing just about every thought in my head with you... here's another one that you might not like.
Womps.
So... I pride myself on actually being pretty comfortable with most things, especially as it pertains to roommates. I find that as I get older, I find more things really gross, which is unfortunate... for example, I used to not care about stray hairs around the sink and/or shower. Now they make me gag a little. Especially if they are clearly not mine. And wet. *gag*
But, anyway, aside from that... pretty comfortable being very open and personal with you from the get-go.
Those of you who know me are thinking, "Hmm.. standard. Yes. With you so far."
Great.
So.
My roommate and I do laundry together.
Which might seem a little fast, as we've only known each other for about four weeks... but we moved in with each other about 5 seconds after meeting, so what can you expect, right?
Anyway. Terrible jokes aside, we do our laundry together mainly because we don't have our own washer and dryer and have been relegated to bumming off of the other resident directors. Which they are all extremely gracious about. But... let's be honest. It's still a little awkward, as we are intruding into their homes and evenings. Often more than once. So, we combine to try to intrude as infrequently as possible.
As such, we tend to sort and fold each other's laundry too. Because we're nice like that.
I don't mind folding other people's underwear. Really, if you think about it, it's clean, and it just covers the butt, so... whatever.
But.
You cannot tell me that when you go to fold somebody else's thong, the first thought that pops in your mind is not, "... Oh my God. This was in. your. butt."
And then it's over.
Really. Once you have that thought, you just can't continue.
Or at least I couldn't.
So... I folded everything nice and neat... and then left a pile of vaguely wadded underwear to the side.
I am sorry, roommate. That is just a line we cannot cross.
Also. completely unrelated:
Please go to this website.
And then, please scroll through the first seven pictures at the bottom. Then laugh loudly. Thank you.
...
Don't get used to it. I fully expect this to end in approximately 3 weeks, when I return to my full-time Graduate Hall Director/ Student gig.
But while I'm sharing just about every thought in my head with you... here's another one that you might not like.
Womps.
So... I pride myself on actually being pretty comfortable with most things, especially as it pertains to roommates. I find that as I get older, I find more things really gross, which is unfortunate... for example, I used to not care about stray hairs around the sink and/or shower. Now they make me gag a little. Especially if they are clearly not mine. And wet. *gag*
But, anyway, aside from that... pretty comfortable being very open and personal with you from the get-go.
Those of you who know me are thinking, "Hmm.. standard. Yes. With you so far."
Great.
So.
My roommate and I do laundry together.
Which might seem a little fast, as we've only known each other for about four weeks... but we moved in with each other about 5 seconds after meeting, so what can you expect, right?
Anyway. Terrible jokes aside, we do our laundry together mainly because we don't have our own washer and dryer and have been relegated to bumming off of the other resident directors. Which they are all extremely gracious about. But... let's be honest. It's still a little awkward, as we are intruding into their homes and evenings. Often more than once. So, we combine to try to intrude as infrequently as possible.
As such, we tend to sort and fold each other's laundry too. Because we're nice like that.
I don't mind folding other people's underwear. Really, if you think about it, it's clean, and it just covers the butt, so... whatever.
But.
You cannot tell me that when you go to fold somebody else's thong, the first thought that pops in your mind is not, "... Oh my God. This was in. your. butt."
And then it's over.
Really. Once you have that thought, you just can't continue.
Or at least I couldn't.
So... I folded everything nice and neat... and then left a pile of vaguely wadded underwear to the side.
I am sorry, roommate. That is just a line we cannot cross.
Also. completely unrelated:
Please go to this website.
And then, please scroll through the first seven pictures at the bottom. Then laugh loudly. Thank you.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I'll put a flower in your hair...
I've never been a huge flower person.
As in... I really don't know anything about flowers.
Or their names.
Which is unfortunate if someone asks you, "Ooh! What's your favorite flower?" because you either must say, "er... the.. pretty one?" or something generic, like, "oh.. you know... roses."
But... I've always found them so beautiful. Recently, while in California, I walked into Trader Joe's (love this store.), and saw the most beautiful flowers for sale.
They turned out to be peonies (a bouquet for 5 dollars!), which... three weeks later, I still regret not buying. haha And now, I'm obsessed with peonies. They are just so big and fluffy and delicious (visually, not actually).
Apparently, they are also the number 5 most popular flower used at weddings. I'm not a real girl, nor do I ever go to weddings, so I would have no idea about this.
But anyway. Recent fascination. Thought I'd share. (Buy me peonies.)
.........
...No? Not subtle enough for subliminal messaging? Rats.
As in... I really don't know anything about flowers.
Or their names.
Which is unfortunate if someone asks you, "Ooh! What's your favorite flower?" because you either must say, "er... the.. pretty one?" or something generic, like, "oh.. you know... roses."
But... I've always found them so beautiful. Recently, while in California, I walked into Trader Joe's (love this store.), and saw the most beautiful flowers for sale.
They turned out to be peonies (a bouquet for 5 dollars!), which... three weeks later, I still regret not buying. haha And now, I'm obsessed with peonies. They are just so big and fluffy and delicious (visually, not actually).
 |
| NOMNOMNOM. |
But anyway. Recent fascination. Thought I'd share. (Buy me peonies.)
.........
...No? Not subtle enough for subliminal messaging? Rats.
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